Holy Spirit, You Are Welcome Here | December 7, 2015

December 7, 2015

When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “As for you, your sins are forgiven.”

I just spent the weekend on retreat with 100+ teenagers and our theme was Holy Spirit, you are welcome here. When you invite the Holy Spirit into your life, wildness will ensue and miracles will happen. Today’s gospel is about a group of friends that busted through the roof of a house to make sure that their friend in need of healing would be guaranteed time with Jesus. That pretty much summarizes this weekend’s retreat. A community of inspired teens busted through the roof boldly, wildly, and passionately to set their peers in front of Christ. They did it through their witness talks, their prayer, their love for one another, and with the fruits of the Holy Spirit gushing forth: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.

Yes, I pretty much choreographed the show, but essentially I sat in the wings and watched the miraculous. True friends pick us up when we are incapable of walking, and they love our debilitated and paralyzed souls into wellness. Without true friendship, loneliness can kill our souls. We are made for community and today’s gospel shows us that.

I want to share an email that I received last night at 10:30pm from one of the young men that came on retreat because I think it is a modern day version of today’s gospel when the faith of friends prompts Jesus to work miracles and to heal.

Dear Jen:

 I want to say thank you for this weekend and presenting me with this opportunity. This was the first time where I realized who Jesus was, who I am, and what the community of the church really is. This confirmation retreat was the most powerful, self-revealing, and tear-filled time of my life. On Saturday during Adoration I felt like the community of the church was real, not just something I had read about. 

 I want to thank you for this opportunity because it was really eye-opening and this is my account of Saturday: 

On Saturday night there was this even called Adoration. Basically we (the 100+ students at the camp) were all together in a candle lit room with a giant cross on the floor in the middle of the room and 5 priests to which we could confess. Two people gave speeches, one skit about sin that was very powerful, and another about the importance of Confession. I was not crying at this point. They then dismissed us to go to confession, I went and sat down in the line, and about 30 seconds in I was crying my heart out. I don't know why I was crying, I just felt like a sinner and it was horrible. Immediately people started gathering around me, hugging me, kissing me, reassuring me. People I didn't even know, people whose faces I couldn't even see cared so much about my suffering that they gathered around me instantaneously. This was very powerful and it made me cry even more. When I went up to confess, I couldn't say anything at first, I was choked up with tears. I told the priest through my periodic sobs that I was sad because I had no heart, I felt like I could not love and I made my confession. After confessing, I went to the cross on the floor, knelt before it and prayed. Prayed for my heart to be opened so that I could love. After praying, all of my friends came to me, the leaders of my group came to me, and other people who I didn't even know all gave me hugs and reassured me that I was special, unique, and an amazing person. This moment hit me like a wall and I felt like everything I had ever learned about the church came crashing down. Reasons for everything I've been taught came to me, I understood the importance of community and something about Jesus that had never occurred to me. At that moment, I realized Jesus was the reason for this. He was the one person that we were all trying to be like and we were helping each other get there. Before, I was like, "Oh yeah, Jesus, that's what makes us different from Judaism." But at that moment, He was so much more. He was the reason for the Church, the one reason why any of us cared to go on that retreat, the reason we were all there together. He was standing in front of me, He was in all of the people who came to hug me, He was showing me His kingdom, showing me that this is what religion looks like, not just a history of the Church. This moment made me realize that I really did want to be Catholic, and that I would do anything in my power to be a more righteous person. This did not happen so easily. The road to righteousness will have to be paved, and it won't be so easy. I keep praying that I can take that leap of faith and follow Jesus like everyone has told me since the start of my journey of faith.
  

This weekend revealed who I really am, and how much I want to change the person of me from the past. This weekend showed me that we are all one community under Jesus, and we are all helping each other to become more like Him. The most eye-opening part of the weekend was when strangers came to me, reassured me, and made me feel safe. Complete strangers, people who I had occasionally seen at youth group but never met. At that point, it didn't matter who I was, it didn't matter how popular I was, it didn't matter if we were in different friend groups or if we went to different schools, because we were all there for each other. In those first 30 seconds, I heard someone exclaim, "Oh my gosh is he crying?!" and immediately the people who waited in the line for confession dedicated themselves to be there for me in my tears. This was the safest I have felt in my life, and despite the amount of tears and snot I experienced, I would love to have that same safe feeling again. I believe that the community is the most important part of the church and I am now interested in being part of the j-crew. I want people to be enlightened in the same way I was because it was the best feeling of my life. I want others to feel safe in the church, even when they are struggling in school or have a bad family life. I want to contribute to the loving community and make people want to be Catholic for themselves, not because their parents force it. 

Thank you for this weekend experience. I have always heard about people in their come-to-Jesus moments. They describe it like one day it just happened, and yesterday was that day for me. That was the first time where I thought of Jesus as a person, not a Biblical character. He felt real to me, He felt present. None of this would have happened to me without you and I cannot thank you enough because without your help, I would still be the rude, arrogant, stubborn teenager I was 2 days ago. Thank you for this experience and I hope I can return next year as a j-crew leader and lead others on the righteous path which I have recently set foot on. 

Yours in Christ,