Timeless Longing by Jen Bedison

Timelessness has imprinted my longing for a love that is perfect and true,

from the one that will never leave.

Timelessness in a limited world shows itself as restlessness and

restlessness often looks like desperation or

a cat lady in the making.

Deep down it churns like the sea tossing my oneness all over the horizon.

Like sun spots in our eyes it leaves a trail of broken hearted failures

that dance across the page as notes in an unfinished symphony

and I hardly know how to read them anymore.

I thought it was a lovely song, but I guess I played it wrong.

Even still, the notes come from that eternal longing

that breathed in my soul before my wings even took flight.

It whispers in the night, it fans the flames of my heart,

and it makes me want to catch it.

The bad news is that it can't be caught.

And the good news is that it can't be caught.

Migrating monarchs journey toward their destiny,

sacrificing themselves along the path so that their

beloved ones arrive where their loneliness is satisfied and

their timeless longing quenched;

a place where everyone is a soul mate and all are one.

In a limited world it is that first kiss

that haunts us with thoughts of catching it and pinning it down.

And the memory of our Beloved's embrace keeps us in a constant

state of "in-consummation" lingering like a craving.

This holy longing is in everyone, married and single alike.

The empty hands of timelessness remain untouched somewhere

in the depth of our souls and

every now and then someone special

meets us there to remind us of our heart's truest desire

which is, of course, to return to the one who first loved us.

So let the notes of your symphony keep dancing across the horizon,

a timeless tune that only you can play, and

it's serenade will lead you home where He is waiting,

timelessly longing for you too.

Found | By Jen Bedison

I wrote this poem on a recent trip to Hawaii where I go when my heart needs mending. It seems like a good one to post on my birthday as it is about new life, promise, and hope. God bless your day. 

FOUND 

By Jen Bedison

I came upon a graveyard of coral

Dry bones bleached by the sun

Once works of art that adorned the walls under the sea

Once the home of rainbows and speckled angels

Now they lie forgotten and abandoned

Piled up beds of memories and lifeless dreams on the shore of thunder

Will anyone but me care for them?

Or collect them?

Or write about them?

Does this dormant sunny burial ground wash away their sin?

Does this death to the old bring new birth?

If I could scoop them all up, I would because their story is important

And I want to tell it, but I can’t save them all

One special shell calls out to me…it’s the only shell here

It asks me a simple question, “do you know?”

As I hold it in my empty hands I reply, “yes”

In the graveyard of coral I hear my Beloved’s voice and

Suddenly I am found

Bleached by the Son

Born again

And no longer the me I used to be

Super Bowl | February 7, 2016

February 7, 2016

Today’s gospel reminds us that when Jesus calls us, it probably means that we will need to change our ways, “’Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch.’ Simon said in reply, ‘Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing, but at your command I will lower the nets.’ When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish and their nets were tearing.” Peter’s pride made him doubt Jesus’ request to change the way they normally did things, but when Jesus’ way turned out to be better than his own way he was humbled to his knees in shame thinking that he was too sinful to even be in the presence of Jesus. Raise your hand if pride has ever caused you to doubt that God’s plans are greater than yours. Raise your hand if the workings of Christ in your life has ever made you feel like you don’t deserve his love because of your own sin. We are not alone in these and Peter shows us that following the Lord is a process and like David who sinned in big ways, we must stay as close to God as possible acknowledging our weaknesses and praising Him always.

Jesus can handle our sin, our ignorance, our doubt, our stubbornness, our arrogance, our pride…it is you and I that cannot handle being as we are before the Lord, and we may be the ones crying out, “Depart from me, Lord, for I am sinful.” The good news is that Jesus’ response to us is the same, “Do not be afraid. Now you will be____________” (fill in your particular calling). If you don’t know exactly what that calling is, pray about it, pay attention to the things in your life that God is changing, let the Holy Spirit reveal it to you, and then leave everything (that He wants you to give up such as addictions, sin, behaviors, lukewarm faith, doing things your ways, bad influences, gossip, vices, laziness, etc.) and follow Him.

Peter is such an animated and wonderful character for us to study. He always puts his whole self into everything and that is exactly what God wants from each one of us – our all. Yes, we might make fools of ourselves in the process, but then again we might just become the rock of faith that Jesus knew Peter could be with a little (or a lot of) work.

Today millions of us will sit for hours in front of our TVs and cheer for a couple of football teams that we may or may not care about. We will plan elaborate feasts and we will drink a lot. At the end their will be a champion team and we will exchange our sentiments in favor of or against said champion, we will pay out our bets, we will regret all the fried foods that we just consumed, and we will nurse our hangovers too, but I hope that we will also remember that each one of us is called to be a champion for Christ and if we are to do that we must partake from the Super Bowl that He offers us every single Sunday, the one elevated by human hands, but kissed by Jesus himself. Don’t forget to whom you belong and remember do not be afraid for He has great plans for you, Beloved. Have a blessed day.

Reading 1 IS 6:1-2A, 3-8

In the year King Uzziah died,
I saw the Lord seated on a high and lofty throne,
with the train of his garment filling the temple.
Seraphim were stationed above.

They cried one to the other,
“Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts!
All the earth is filled with his glory!”
At the sound of that cry, the frame of the door shook
and the house was filled with smoke.

Then I said, “Woe is me, I am doomed!
For I am a man of unclean lips,
living among a people of unclean lips;
yet my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!”
Then one of the seraphim flew to me,
holding an ember that he had taken with tongs from the altar.

He touched my mouth with it, and said,
“See, now that this has touched your lips,
your wickedness is removed, your sin purged.”

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying,
“Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?”
“Here I am,” I said; “send me!”

Responsorial Psalm PS 138:1-2, 2-3, 4-5, 7-8

R. (1c) In the sight of the angels I will sing your praises, Lord.
I will give thanks to you, O LORD, with all my heart,
for you have heard the words of my mouth;
in the presence of the angels I will sing your praise;
I will worship at your holy temple
and give thanks to your name.
R. In the sight of the angels I will sing your praises, Lord.
Because of your kindness and your truth;
for you have made great above all things
your name and your promise.
When I called, you answered me;
you built up strength within me.
R. In the sight of the angels I will sing your praises, Lord.
All the kings of the earth shall give thanks to you, O LORD,
when they hear the words of your mouth;
and they shall sing of the ways of the LORD:
“Great is the glory of the LORD.”
R. In the sight of the angels I will sing your praises, Lord.
Your right hand saves me.
The LORD will complete what he has done for me;
your kindness, O LORD, endures forever;
forsake not the work of your hands.
R. In the sight of the angels I will sing your praises, Lord.

Reading 2 1 COR 15:1-11

I am reminding you, brothers and sisters,
of the gospel I preached to you,
which you indeed received and in which you also stand.
Through it you are also being saved,
if you hold fast to the word I preached to you,
unless you believed in vain.
For I handed on to you as of first importance what I also received:
that Christ died for our sins
in accordance with the Scriptures;
that he was buried;
that he was raised on the third day
in accordance with the Scriptures;
that he appeared to Cephas, then to the Twelve.
After that, Christ appeared to more
than five hundred brothers at once,
most of whom are still living,
though some have fallen asleep.
After that he appeared to James,
then to all the apostles.
Last of all, as to one born abnormally,
he appeared to me.
For I am the least of the apostles,
not fit to be called an apostle,
because I persecuted the church of God.
But by the grace of God I am what I am,
and his grace to me has not been ineffective.
Indeed, I have toiled harder than all of them;
not I, however, but the grace of God that is with me.
Therefore, whether it be I or they,
so we preach and so you believed.

Or 1 COR 15:3-8, 11

Brothers and sisters,
I handed on to you as of first importance what I also received:
that Christ died for our sins
in accordance with the Scriptures;
that he was buried;
that he was raised on the third day
in accordance with the Scriptures; 
that he appeared to Cephas, then to the Twelve.
After that, he appeared to more
than five hundred brothers at once,
most of whom are still living,
though some have fallen asleep.
After that he appeared to James,
then to all the apostles.
Last of all, as to one abnormally born,
he appeared to me.
Therefore, whether it be I or they,
so we preach and so you believed.

Alleluia MT 4:19

R. Alleluia, alleluia.
Come after me
and I will make you fishers of men.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel LK 5:1-11

While the crowd was pressing in on Jesus and listening
to the word of God,
he was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret.
He saw two boats there alongside the lake;
the fishermen had disembarked and were washing their nets.
Getting into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon,
he asked him to put out a short distance from the shore.
Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat.
After he had finished speaking, he said to Simon,
“Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch.”
Simon said in reply,
“Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing,
but at your command I will lower the nets.”
When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish
and their nets were tearing.
They signaled to their partners in the other boat
to come to help them. 
They came and filled both boats
so that the boats were in danger of sinking.
When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at the knees of Jesus and said,
“Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.”
For astonishment at the catch of fish they had made seized him
and all those with him,
and likewise James and John, the sons of Zebedee,
who were partners of Simon.
Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid;
from now on you will be catching men.”
When they brought their boats to the shore,
they left everything and followed him.

Remember That Time When We Got The Trots? | February 6, 2016

February 6, 2016

After the apostles got back from their mission trip, they wanted to tell their best friend all about it. From my own experience when teens get back from a mission trip they are not only excited to report every detail, but they themselves are changed. They see the world with different eyes. Their experience of going out and bringing the good news to people’s lives, homes, and through serving them gives them a sense of great joy, satisfaction, and accomplishment. I imagine the apostles had some doozy stories just like my friends and I have from our house build trips. Picture them sitting around the fire pit at Peter’s house…Remember that time when we drank bad well water and we all got the trots? Or how many homes did you get kicked out of? Or witnessing true healing never gets old does it? Or my favorite memory was when we played soccer in the street with all the children from the village. Or we tried changing some water into wine just for fun, but apparently we don’t have that skill down yet. Or when we had the trots it sure would have been nice to have a second tunic, I’m just sayin’, Jesus!! Or I ended up giving my only walking stick to an elderly woman who looked like she could really use it. Or the kids stole our walking sticks to play sword fighting. Or my stick broke when I was tried to pummel a scorpion that wanted to kill me. And the stories carried on for days I’m sure.

Jesus must have been so proud and pleased with his boys and he wanted to reward them with a little mini-retreat of their own. Can you imagine how special a weekend retreat would have been with Jesus himself as the facilitator?? One of the joys of my job is to listen to all the retreat stories the week right after and to just sit back and celebrate the workings of the Holy Spirit in the lives of his children! The apostles needed to decompress after all the miraculous happenings that they just experienced. Raise your hand if you’ve ever needed a retreat just for yourself to get away and process your life. Jesus loved his alone time and he was trying to teach his apostles the value of getting away on retreat. LOVE!!!

The only problem is that all the people that Jesus and his apostles had just evangelized and set a fire in their souls were now their constant groupies and they could not get enough of them and their ministry. They followed the troupe faithfully and like the Beatles they were mobbed everywhere they went, even to their secluded retreat. I’m sure the apostles might have been a little annoyed, I probably would have been, but dear sweet Jesus was touched by his “little sheep” wanting to follow their shepherd and he just couldn’t resist tending to them, caring for them, and responding to them. When we go after Jesus, he will not ignore us, he is not annoyed by our pleading, and like today’s gospel he is moved with pity (mercy) for us.  

Today’s gospel reminds us of two things: we need to take time away in order to process the workings of the Holy Spirit in our lives, and Jesus will always respond to us with mercy and kindness. Take a few moments in gratitude that we are never lost sheep no matter how far away we feel. Have a blessed day.

Reading 1 1 KGS 3:4-13

Solomon went to Gibeon to sacrifice there,
because that was the most renowned high place.
Upon its altar Solomon offered a thousand burnt offerings.
In Gibeon the LORD appeared to Solomon in a dream at night.
God said, “Ask something of me and I will give it to you.”
Solomon answered:
“You have shown great favor to your servant, my father David,
because he behaved faithfully toward you,
with justice and an upright heart;
and you have continued this great favor toward him, even today,
seating a son of his on his throne.
O LORD, my God, you have made me, your servant,
king to succeed my father David;
but I am a mere youth, not knowing at all how to act.
I serve you in the midst of the people whom you have chosen,
a people so vast that it cannot be numbered or counted.
Give your servant, therefore, an understanding heart
to judge your people and to distinguish right from wrong.
For who is able to govern this vast people of yours?”

The LORD was pleased that Solomon made this request.
So God said to him: “Because you have asked for this–
not for a long life for yourself,
nor for riches, nor for the life of your enemies,
but for understanding so that you may know what is right–
I do as you requested. 
I give you a heart so wise and understanding
that there has never been anyone like you up to now,
and after you there will come no one to equal you.
In addition, I give you what you have not asked for,
such riches and glory that among kings there is not your like.”

Responsorial Psalm PS 119:9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

R. (12b) Lord, teach me your statutes.
How shall a young man be faultless in his way?
By keeping to your words.
R. Lord, teach me your statutes.
With all my heart I seek you;
let me not stray from your commands.
R. Lord, teach me your statutes.
Within my heart I treasure your promise,
that I may not sin against you.
R. Lord, teach me your statutes.
Blessed are you, O LORD;
teach me your statutes.
R. Lord, teach me your statutes.
With my lips I declare
all the ordinances of your mouth. 
R. Lord, teach me your statutes.
In the way of your decrees I rejoice,
as much as in all riches.
R. Lord, teach me your statutes.

Alleluia JN 10:27

R. Alleluia, alleluia.
My sheep hear my voice, says the Lord;
I know them, and they follow me.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel MK 6:30-34

The Apostles gathered together with Jesus
and reported all they had done and taught.
He said to them,
“Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” 
People were coming and going in great numbers,
and they had no opportunity even to eat.
So they went off in the boat by themselves to a deserted place.
People saw them leaving and many came to know about it.
They hastened there on foot from all the towns
and arrived at the place before them.

When Jesus disembarked and saw the vast crowd,
his heart was moved with pity for them,
for they were like sheep without a shepherd;
and he began to teach them many things.