Cross-Eyed With Confusion

I feel like keeping it very simple today. He’s on the road with us, walking alongside, listening, and waiting. We may be caught up in our own state of affairs, particularly this pandemic, financial crisis, politics, or worry. Our distracted selves are not looking for Him because we are almost cross-eyed with confusion in these troubling times, much like the disciples on the road to Emmaus. He baits us with conversation, invitation, and wanting to be with us. We too want to be with Him, but we are so busy, so distracted, and so looking in the wrong direction that we can’t even identify the burning in our hearts for Him. This time of sheltering in place, quarantine, and rest from the world is our Emmaus: “So he went in to stay with them [shelter in place]. And it happened that, while he was with them at table [home church], he took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and gave it to them. With that their eyes were opened and they recognized him, but he vanished from their sight. Then they said to each other, ‘Were not our hearts burning within us while he spoke to us on the way and opened the Scriptures to us?’” Our longing for Jesus is being stirred up in this time of retreat and we can stop from our distractions and worry to see Him, or not. He’s on the road with us, walking alongside, listening, and waiting. It is well with my soul. 

Reading 1 ACTS 3:1-10

Peter and John were going up to the temple area
for the three o’clock hour of prayer.
And a man crippled from birth was carried
and placed at the gate of the temple called “the Beautiful Gate” every day
to beg for alms from the people who entered the temple.
When he saw Peter and John about to go into the temple,
he asked for alms.
But Peter looked intently at him, as did John,
and said, “Look at us.”
He paid attention to them, expecting to receive something from them.
Peter said, “I have neither silver nor gold,
but what I do have I give you:
in the name of Jesus Christ the Nazorean, rise and walk.”
Then Peter took him by the right hand and raised him up,
and immediately his feet and ankles grew strong.
He leaped up, stood, and walked around,
and went into the temple with them,
walking and jumping and praising God.
When all the people saw him walking and praising God,
they recognized him as the one
who used to sit begging at the Beautiful Gate of the temple,
and they were filled with amazement and astonishment
at what had happened to him.

Responsorial Psalm 105:1-2, 3-4, 6-7, 8-9

R.    (3b) Rejoice, O hearts that seek the Lord.
or:
R.    Alleluia.
Give thanks to the LORD, invoke his name;
make known among the nations his deeds.
Sing to him, sing his praise,
proclaim all his wondrous deeds.
R.    Rejoice, O hearts that seek the Lord.
or:
R.    Alleluia.
Glory in his holy name;
rejoice, O hearts that seek the LORD!
Look to the LORD in his strength;
seek to serve him constantly.
R.    Rejoice, O hearts that seek the Lord.
or:
R.    Alleluia.
You descendants of Abraham, his servants,
sons of Jacob, his chosen ones!
He, the LORD, is our God;
throughout the earth his judgments prevail.
R.    Rejoice, O hearts that seek the Lord.
or:
R.    Alleluia.
He remembers forever his covenant
which he made binding for a thousand generationsB
Which he entered into with Abraham
and by his oath to Isaac.
R.    Rejoice, O hearts that seek the Lord.
or:
R.    Alleluia.

Alleluia PS 118:24

R. Alleluia, alleluia.
This is the day the LORD has made;
let us be glad and rejoice in it.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel LK 24:13-35

That very day, the first day of the week,
two of Jesus’ disciples were going
to a village seven miles from Jerusalem called Emmaus,
and they were conversing about all the things that had occurred.
And it happened that while they were conversing and debating,
Jesus himself drew near and walked with them,
but their eyes were prevented from recognizing him.
He asked them,
“What are you discussing as you walk along?”
They stopped, looking downcast.
One of them, named Cleopas, said to him in reply,
“Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem
who does not know of the things
that have taken place there in these days?”
And he replied to them, “What sort of things?”
They said to him,
“The things that happened to Jesus the Nazarene,
who was a prophet mighty in deed and word
before God and all the people,
how our chief priests and rulers both handed him over
to a sentence of death and crucified him.
But we were hoping that he would be the one to redeem Israel;
and besides all this,
it is now the third day since this took place.
Some women from our group, however, have astounded us:
they were at the tomb early in the morning
and did not find his Body;
they came back and reported
that they had indeed seen a vision of angels
who announced that he was alive.
Then some of those with us went to the tomb
and found things just as the women had described,
but him they did not see.”
And he said to them, “Oh, how foolish you are!
How slow of heart to believe all that the prophets spoke!
Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things
and enter into his glory?”
Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets,
he interpreted to them what referred to him
in all the Scriptures.
As they approached the village to which they were going,
he gave the impression that he was going on farther.
But they urged him, “Stay with us,
for it is nearly evening and the day is almost over.”
So he went in to stay with them.
And it happened that, while he was with them at table,
he took bread, said the blessing,
broke it, and gave it to them.
With that their eyes were opened and they recognized him,
but he vanished from their sight.
Then they said to each other,
“Were not our hearts burning within us
while he spoke to us on the way and opened the Scriptures to us?”
So they set out at once and returned to Jerusalem
where they found gathered together
the Eleven and those with them who were saying,
“The Lord has truly been raised and has appeared to Simon!”
Then the two recounted what had taken place on the way
and how he was made known to them in the breaking of the bread.

I Have Seen The Lord

Oh how I love today’s gospel. Mary Magdalene was simply wrecked at the death and loss of her beloved Jesus. I can place myself into this scene easily as she wept outside the tomb. When I visit my dad’s grave at the cemetery, there is something so extra final about it. The being covered over by grass and a headstone gives it permanence and seals in the excruciating ache of never seeing him again. And yet, I go there because I find some sort of comfort in just being near him. Mary Magdalene had a very special relationship with Jesus. He delivered her from the insurmountable bondage of being a slave to seven demons and when that kind of freedom happens one is compelled to go “all in” for the one that freed you. Mary was all in for Jesus from the moment of her deliverance. She was there on the sidelines as he was scourged, beaten, and humiliated. She walked along with Jesus’ mom and the beloved apostle as her savior carried the sins of the world on his back. She stood and watched as nails were driven into her beloved’s body. She was there when he breathed his last breath. The agony of watching your loved one labor toward death is traumatic and only amplifies the grief when they are gone. Mary’s grief was all consuming and deafening. I understand this kind of grief. Can you feel her ache? Can you imagine the devastation? Can you enter into the mourning? Can you understand her confusion?

In her grief-stricken state, she hunkers down into the burial place of her beloved and finds two shiny guys hanging out. Let’s just add to Mary’s already conflicted mind! “Woman, why are you weeping?” Mary must have felt like she was taking crazy pills. I’m sorry, I was just looking for the dead guy that I left here two days ago, that’s all. Then she turned around and Jesus was there, but she didn’t recognize him. How many times have I been in such a confused state and all I needed to do was turn around to find Jesus? How many times have I not seen him standing right there because I was too caught up in my own stuff? He even spoke to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? (She must have been over all these men asking why she was crying. I mean come on, she was crying because her beloved was gone!!) Whom are you looking for?” Why was everyone messing with poor Mary that morning? Still unable to see who he was, she kind of blew off his question. How many times have I blown off a conversation with Jesus because I was unable to see or hear properly? This whole encounter reminds me of times in my life when I have let fear, trauma, and grief steal my ability to recognize Christ standing right in front of me. Then Jesus simply says her name, “Mary!” And in the hearing of her name, she finally recognized him. There was something in the way he said her name that would have revealed his identity. I’ve tried to imagine what it sounded like. I’ve tried to hear it the way Mary heard it that day. I’ve tried to insert my own name into the scene. Our names are more powerful than we can know. I know for me there have been a few close people in my life that when they say my name in a certain way, I feel found, I feel known, I feel safe, and I feel seen. This is what happened to Mary when her beloved said her name. The cloud of grief was lifted and she could see that which was always there: resurrection! I still find it beautiful and lovely and right that he chose Mary Magdalene to be the first one to see him come back to life. She must have had a very special place in his heart, and like Mary of Bethany, and John, the beloved apostle, their belovedness allowed them to be there even when things were scary or ugly or difficult. Knowledge of our belovedness gives us courage, confidence, grace, and the presence to do hard things. It gives us a special something that helps us show up for the one that loves us. 

Jesus tells Mary, “Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am going to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’” This tells me that Mary must have wrapped her arms around him once she recognized him, which is a detail that I just love. What I wouldn’t give to hug my dad. Jesus calls her back into focus, saying we still have work to do. I’m only going to be here for a limited time and I need you to be the one to tell my freaked out friends that I’m alive. I need you to remind them that I am going to my Father, who is also your Father. There’s something about you Mary, in your bold faith, your loyal all in-ness, your tenacity, and your freedom that will get the message across to those stubborn and scared apostles of mine. Would Jesus be able to say the same thing to me? Would he trust me to take him to his beloveds? Is there something about me that Jesus can use to get his message across to the people he places in front of me? Am I willing to let go and announce, “I have seen the Lord”? 

My Memory Care sweethearts have no idea that there is a pandemic in the world and there is no way to explain what the heck social distancing is, so when I stepped off the elevator into their normal, they completely wrapped me up in hugs and kisses and more hugs and more kisses. At first I had twinges of guilt like I was breaking all the rules and that slowly faded into “They have seen the Lord!” and somehow they know that the vaccination is pure love. Please know that all the staff in memory care is being extra super cautious and diligent on our end with all the CDC guidelines of distancing, masks, gloves, and precautions, but the sweethearts just need their normal, and apparently that involves covering their beloveds with hugs and kisses upon their return from long journeys.  

Let this compelling scene between Mary and Jesus be a touchstone for us today. What is it about you that Jesus needs today? How does he say your name? Do you see him standing right in front of you? It is well with my soul.

Reading 1 ACTS 2:36-41

On the day of Pentecost, Peter said to the Jewish people,
“Let the whole house of Israel know for certain
that God has made him both Lord and Christ,
this Jesus whom you crucified.”

Now when they heard this, they were cut to the heart,
and they asked Peter and the other Apostles,
“What are we to do, my brothers?”
Peter said to them,
“Repent and be baptized, every one of you,
in the name of Jesus Christ, for the forgiveness of your sins;
and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
For the promise is made to you and to your children
and to all those far off,
whomever the Lord our God will call.”
He testified with many other arguments, and was exhorting them,
“Save yourselves from this corrupt generation.”
Those who accepted his message were baptized,
and about three thousand persons were added that day.

Responsorial Psalm 33:4-5, 18-19, 20 AND 22

R.    (5b)  The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.
or:
R.    Alleluia.
Upright is the word of the LORD,
and all his works are trustworthy.
He loves justice and right;
of the kindness of the LORD the earth is full.
R.    The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.
or:
R.    Alleluia.
See, the eyes of the LORD are upon those who fear him,
upon those who hope for his kindness,
To deliver them from death
and preserve them in spite of famine.
R.    The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.
or:
R.    Alleluia.
Our soul waits for the LORD,
who is our help and our shield.
May your kindness, O LORD, be upon us
who have put our hope in you.
R.    The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.
or:
R.    Alleluia.

Alleluia PS 118:24

R. Alleluia, alleluia.
This is the day the LORD has made;
let us be glad and rejoice in it.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel JN 20:11-18

Mary Magdalene stayed outside the tomb weeping.
And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb
and saw two angels in white sitting there,
one at the head and one at the feet
where the Body of Jesus had been.
And they said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?”
She said to them, “They have taken my Lord,
and I don’t know where they laid him.”
When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there,
but did not know it was Jesus.
Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?
Whom are you looking for?”
She thought it was the gardener and said to him,
“Sir, if you carried him away,
tell me where you laid him,
and I will take him.”
Jesus said to her, “Mary!”
She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni,”
which means Teacher.
Jesus said to her, “Stop holding on to me,
for I have not yet ascended to the Father.
But go to my brothers and tell them,
‘I am going to my Father and your Father,
to my God and your God.’”
Mary went and announced to the disciples,
“I have seen the Lord,”

and then reported what he had told her. 

The Mary’s

It warms my heart that Jesus’ first interaction after the Resurrection was with “the Mary’s.” Mary Magdalene and the “other” Mary (makes me smile) were obviously dear to His heart and Jesus knew He could trust them with His epic super shiny and impressive revelation. I’m not sure He was as confident in the guys being able to relay the message as accurately as He’d like. Just sayin’. I love that they were both fearful and overjoyed as I can totally relate to such confusion. Those of us that have lost loved ones know the longing of just wanting to see them one more time or erasing the vision of their lifelessness. Just to see the twinkle in my dad’s eyes again would mean everything and the Mary’s not only got to see Jesus, but it says they wrapped themselves at his feet (reminiscent of anointing His feet with expensive oil?). To see and hear and touch your loved one again!!! How amazing and how terrifying! Let’s just say there must have been some big feelings going on, hence Jesus saying, “Do not be afraid.” The Mary’s must have had a special kind of charisma to be able to go into a room full of grieving, ashamed, proud, and frightened men and tell them that Jesus was going to meet them in Galilee! Their conviction about the matter would mean everything wouldn’t it? How convicted am I about the Resurrection? How convicted am I that we are going to come out of this pandemic in victory? How convicted am I that Jesus is the Savior of the world? What exactly do I need to convict my heart other than the greatest miracle of all time? Do I believe Jesus rose from the dead or not? 

Would Jesus ask me to go tell a room full of wounded and hurt individuals about Him? The first words He said to the Mary’s were, “Do not be afraid.” Perfect love casts out all fear and so this morning I encourage each of us to tap into His perfect love. Yesterday I got to go back to work after almost a month away from my sweethearts. I too was fearful and overjoyed. I missed the sweethearts so much, but I was afraid to bring in anything harmful to them. I recorded a mini-Easter service on my iPad that I took around to the rooms that they could watch individually. I sang a song called “The Blessing” and “Oh Happy Day” and as I stood outside their doors in the hallway, I could hear each one sing along with me as they watched. Some even clapped to “Oh Happy Day.” I was so taken aback because I realized that Jesus did ask me to go tell His vulnerable ones about Him. My fear melted away in the perfect love that was moving through the place and when Bill asked me if he could watch it again, I understood what it means to be overjoyed. Leah told me that it was one of her favorite Easters ever and I think that Jesus is using this time to break into our homes and show us that He is indeed Alive!! How convicted are you about that? Easter and Passover 2020 will go down in the history books as unforgettable as it should always be. It is well with my soul. 

Reading 1 ACTS 2:14, 22-33

On the day of Pentecost, Peter stood up with the Eleven,
raised his voice, and proclaimed:
“You who are Jews, indeed all of you staying in Jerusalem.
Let this be known to you, and listen to my words.

“You who are children of Israel, hear these words.
Jesus the Nazorean was a man commended to you by God
with mighty deeds, wonders, and signs,
which God worked through him in your midst, as you yourselves know.
This man, delivered up by the set plan and foreknowledge of God,
you killed, using lawless men to crucify him.
But God raised him up, releasing him from the throes of death,
because it was impossible for him to be held by it.
For David says of him:

I saw the Lord ever before me,
with him at my right hand I shall not be disturbed.
Therefore my heart has been glad and my tongue has exulted;
my flesh, too, will dwell in hope,
because you will not abandon my soul to the nether world,
nor will you suffer your holy one to see corruption.
You have made known to me the paths of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence.

My brothers, one can confidently say to you
about the patriarch David that he died and was buried,
and his tomb is in our midst to this day.
But since he was a prophet and knew that God had sworn an oath to him
that he would set one of his descendants upon his throne,
he foresaw and spoke of the resurrection of the Christ,
that neither was he abandoned to the netherworld
nor did his flesh see corruption.
God raised this Jesus;
of this we are all witnesses.
Exalted at the right hand of God,
he poured forth the promise of the Holy Spirit
that he received from the Father, as you both see and hear.”

Responsorial Psalm 16:1-2A AND 5, 7-8, 9-10, 11

R.    (1)  Keep me safe, O God; you are my hope.
or:
R.    Alleluia.
Keep me, O God, for in you I take refuge;
I say to the LORD, “My Lord are you.”
O LORD, my allotted portion and my cup,
you it is who hold fast my lot.
R.    Keep me safe, O God; you are my hope.
or:
R.    Alleluia.
I bless the LORD who counsels me;
even in the night my heart exhorts me.
I set the LORD ever before me;
with him at my right hand I shall not be disturbed.
R.    Keep me safe, O God; you are my hope.
or:
R.    Alleluia.
Therefore my heart is glad and my soul rejoices,
my body, too, abides in confidence;
Because you will not abandon my soul to the nether world,
nor will you suffer your faithful one to undergo corruption.
R.    Keep me safe, O God; you are my hope.
or:
R.    Alleluia.
You will show me the path to life,
fullness of joys in your presence,
the delights at your right hand forever.
R.    Keep me safe, O God; you are my hope.
or:
R.    Alleluia.

Alleluia PS 118:24

R. Alleluia, alleluia.
This is the day the LORD has made;
let us be glad and rejoice in it.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel MT 28:8-15

Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went away quickly from the tomb,
fearful yet overjoyed,
and ran to announce the news to his disciples.
And behold, Jesus met them on their way and greeted them.
They approached, embraced his feet, and did him homage.
Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid.
Go tell my brothers to go to Galilee,
and there they will see me.”

While they were going, some of the guard went into the city
and told the chief priests all that had happened.
The chief priests assembled with the elders and took counsel;
then they gave a large sum of money to the soldiers,
telling them, “You are to say,
‘His disciples came by night and stole him while we were asleep.’
And if this gets to the ears of the governor,
we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble.”
The soldiers took the money and did as they were instructed.
And this story has circulated among the Jews to the present day.

The Beloved

This is a re-post, but it might be my personal favorite writing, and I think it is pertinent for us as we do Holy Week in the midst of a pandemic. 

Today’s gospel is one of those that I’ve been praying with for about two years now. It’s the culmination of the apostle John knowing his belovedness in Jesus. After Jesus announces that one of them is going to betray him, there was some fretting at the table for sure. How many times have I done something to hurt someone unintentionally? I get this kind of fretting because we are human and that means that we do careless things sometimes so I’m sure the apostles were in this kind of headspace. Peter gets John’s attention and coaxes him to lean in and ask Jesus whom he’s talking about. What we know from this scenario is that John was sitting at the right hand of Jesus, the coveted place that several of the apostles had been caught fighting over in a few different gospels. So John leaned in close enough to put his head upon Jesus’ chest, and this is the part of this gospel that has become a daily prayer practice of mine. It took me a while to be comfortable doing it, and I’ve had periods of inconsistency with it for sure, but resting my head upon Jesus’ chest and leaning into love is how I begin my mornings because of this sweet and intimate scene between Jesus and his beloved apostle. It’s easy for me to picture a son leaning into the chest of his father, but picturing an adult man leaning into the chest of his best friend is an image that you don’t see every day and so if you really meditate on it, it will touch your heart in a way that gives this gospel new depth, wider perspective, and greater understanding into the importance of our identity in Jesus. 

Leaning in suggests an intimacy that is different doesn’t it. Leaning in lowers the volume to a whisper, leaning in invites the other to also lean in, and leaning in moves your heart closer to theirs. This is the kind of relationship Jesus and John had and the others knew it because of his place at the table, but also because of the way they were with one another. Spend some time imagining how John and Jesus interacted that would show John’s belovedness. I picture knowing glances across the room, maybe some one-on-one time during Jesus’ early morning prayer, I hear words of affirmation from Jesus to John, I feel tenderness in each embrace, and I also get the sense that John received these gifts from Jesus from a place of deep faith. Jesus offers these expressions of intimacy and love to all, but if we don’t receive them and believe they are intended specifically for us, we will never come to understand how to lean in close enough to hear his heart. Whatever it was, John knew his belovedness and that changed everything for him. He was close enough to ask the hard questions, he was close enough to rest upon his heart, and he was close enough to stay in it until the end. John was the only one that did not run, the one that stayed even when it was ugly and scary, the one that consoled the heart of Jesus by his presence, and the one that Jesus trusted enough to care for his own mom. Where did John get this supernatural courage? From knowing without a doubt that he was the beloved of The Beloved. This knowledge gave him the grace he needed to do hard things. This confidence gave him strength to hold up a mom as she watched her son die. This blessed assurance gave him the resolve to stay present to his best friend in his darkest hour. If we think about our own relationships with our best friends, we can get a glimpse into this kind of love. Jesus wants us to lean into love so that when love whispers back at us, we will know without a doubt that we are his and he is ours, and from that place, we will never falter even when life gets ugly. 

People who have been reading my blog for years now have told me that my writing has changed in the past year+ and I have been pondering the why behind that. Today, as I meditate on John leaning into love, I realize that my writing has changed since I also started resting my head upon his chest. Hearing the heartbeat of my beloved each morning has changed the way I write, the way I see the world, the way I say things, the way I am, the way I believe, and the way I love others. It is the one thing that has made all the difference and allowed me to recognize his whisper and he says, “You are my beloved one.” I pray that each of you come to know the sound of his heartbeat and that you know without a doubt your own belovedness in Christ. It is well with my soul. 

Reading 1 IS 49:1-6

Hear me, O islands,
listen, O distant peoples.
The LORD called me from birth,
from my mother’s womb he gave me my name.
He made of me a sharp-edged sword
and concealed me in the shadow of his arm.
He made me a polished arrow,
in his quiver he hid me.
You are my servant, he said to me,
Israel, through whom I show my glory.

Though I thought I had toiled in vain,
and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength,
Yet my reward is with the LORD,
my recompense is with my God.
For now the LORD has spoken
who formed me as his servant from the womb,
That Jacob may be brought back to him
and Israel gathered to him;
And I am made glorious in the sight of the LORD,
and my God is now my strength!
It is too little, he says, for you to be my servant,
to raise up the tribes of Jacob,
and restore the survivors of Israel;
I will make you a light to the nations,
that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth.

Responsorial Psalm 71:1-2, 3-4A, 5AB-6AB, 15 AND 17

R.    (see 15ab)  I will sing of your salvation.
In you, O LORD, I take refuge;
let me never be put to shame.
In your justice rescue me, and deliver me;
incline your ear to me, and save me.
R.    I will sing of your salvation.
Be my rock of refuge,
a stronghold to give me safety,
for you are my rock and my fortress.
O my God, rescue me from the hand of the wicked.
R.    I will sing of your salvation.
For you are my hope, O LORD;
my trust, O God, from my youth.
On you I depend from birth;
from my mother’s womb you are my strength.
R.    I will sing of your salvation.
My mouth shall declare your justice,
day by day your salvation.
O God, you have taught me from my youth,
and till the present I proclaim your wondrous deeds.
R.    I will sing of your salvation.

Verse Before The Gospel

Hail to you, our King, obedient to the Father;
you were led to your crucifixion like a gentle lamb to the slaughter.

Gospel JN 13:21-33, 36-38

Reclining at table with his disciples, Jesus was deeply troubled and testified,
“Amen, amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.”
The disciples looked at one another, at a loss as to whom he meant.
One of his disciples, the one whom Jesus loved,
was reclining at Jesus’ side.
So Simon Peter nodded to him to find out whom he meant.
He leaned back against Jesus’ chest and said to him,
“Master, who is it?”
Jesus answered,
“It is the one to whom I hand the morsel after I have dipped it.”
So he dipped the morsel and took it and handed it to Judas,
son of Simon the Iscariot.
After Judas took the morsel, Satan entered him.
So Jesus said to him, “What you are going to do, do quickly.”
Now none of those reclining at table realized why he said this to him.
Some thought that since Judas kept the money bag, Jesus had told him,
“Buy what we need for the feast,”
or to give something to the poor.
So Judas took the morsel and left at once. And it was night.

When he had left, Jesus said,
“Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him.
If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself,
and he will glorify him at once.
My children, I will be with you only a little while longer.
You will look for me, and as I told the Jews,
‘Where I go you cannot come,’ so now I say it to you.”

Simon Peter said to him, “Master, where are you going?”
Jesus answered him,
“Where I am going, you cannot follow me now,
though you will follow later.”
Peter said to him,
“Master, why can I not follow you now?
I will lay down my life for you.”
Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me?
Amen, amen, I say to you, the cock will not crow
before you deny me three times.”

Leave Her Alone

Have you ever saved something to be used for a special occasion, without knowing what that occasion might be, but you would just know when; a special outfit, a bottle of wine, expensive perfume, jewelry, etc.? Perhaps during quarantine you’ve brought out the good wine you’ve been saving? Mary just knew somehow that the time was now to give what she had saved to Jesus and to give it in such a way that He would know how precious it was to her. She poured the special fragrance lavishly, like He pours his love and grace lavishly, and she used her hair to rub it in and wipe away the excess. I wonder how long that fragrance lingered in her hair, the fragrance of the Christ. I’m sure if you just picture the scene in your mind, you can imagine how sensual this must have seemed from the spectators’ points of view, but Jesus and Mary knew what was happening and these soul friends were uniting themselves for probably the last time, therefore the need for the deep expression of love, honor, gratitude, friendship, and goodbye. Depth in relationships is hard to grasp sometimes because these kinds of friendships are so rare and we are used to more surface level acquaintances. Every now and then you may find a connection with someone that goes way deeper than the surface. I’m sure Jesus and Mary were such a pair and that is why this scene may have seemed so scandalous. Her act of deep love and foreshadowing of his death was turned into a waste of expensive perfume and a platform for rumors I’m sure. I love that Jesus defended her so sternly as He did when she was scolded for sitting at his feet before. 

He really loved Mary so deeply, so beautifully, so tenderly, and so sweetly. She knew that she was special in his eyes and so she behaved as one set apart and was able to endure ridicule and disdain on behalf of her beloved friend. I know that I want this kind of relationship with Jesus. I want to know how deeply He loves me so that I am willing to show my gratitude in such beautiful ways that would make people wonder why. Jesus defends us when we are serving him. He knows our heart and He knows when we are trying to honor him with whatever gifts we have. Don’t let naysayers like Judas get you down when you are showing love to Christ. Perhaps it was Mary’s action that inspired Jesus’ final teaching moment with his apostles when He too would bend down and wash their feet, including Judas. Mary’s extravagant love was a mirror of Jesus’ extravagant love and that is how I want to live this day, as a reflection of the extravagant love of Christ. People may think I’m too much or that I’m wasting something precious on people that won’t even remember it, but I will simply listen to Jesus tell them, “Leave her alone.” Let’s love extravagantly today so that people will see that we have poured out all that we have at his feet because of our deep and abiding friendship. 

As Holy Week begins in this unique time of “retreat,” I pray for each one of you that you will know and believe how deeply the Savior loves you. He poured his precious blood out as an extravagant display of his love for each one of us. I encourage you to sit at His feet and let Him love you. It is well with my soul. 

Reading 1 IS 42:1-7

Here is my servant whom I uphold,
my chosen one with whom I am pleased,
Upon whom I have put my Spirit;
he shall bring forth justice to the nations,
Not crying out, not shouting,
not making his voice heard in the street.
A bruised reed he shall not break,
and a smoldering wick he shall not quench,
Until he establishes justice on the earth;
the coastlands will wait for his teaching.

Thus says God, the LORD,
who created the heavens and stretched them out,
who spreads out the earth with its crops,
Who gives breath to its people
and spirit to those who walk on it:
I, the LORD, have called you for the victory of justice,
I have grasped you by the hand;
I formed you, and set you
as a covenant of the people,
a light for the nations,
To open the eyes of the blind,
to bring out prisoners from confinement,
and from the dungeon, those who live in darkness.

Responsorial Psalm 27:1, 2, 3, 13-14

R.    (1a)  The Lord is my light and my salvation.
The LORD is my light and my salvation;
whom should I fear?
The LORD is my life’s refuge;
of whom should I be afraid?
R.    The Lord is my light and my salvation.
When evildoers come at me
to devour my flesh,
My foes and my enemies
themselves stumble and fall.
R.    The Lord is my light and my salvation.
Though an army encamp against me,
my heart will not fear;
Though war be waged upon me,
even then will I trust.
R.    The Lord is my light and my salvation.
I believe that I shall see the bounty of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD with courage;
be stouthearted, and wait for the LORD.
R.    The Lord is my light and my salvation.

Verse Before The Gospel

Hail to you, our King;
you alone are compassionate with our faults.

Gospel JN 12:1-11

Six days before Passover Jesus came to Bethany,
where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead.
They gave a dinner for him there, and Martha served,
while Lazarus was one of those reclining at table with him.
Mary took a liter of costly perfumed oil
made from genuine aromatic nard
and anointed the feet of Jesus and dried them with her hair;
the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil.
Then Judas the Iscariot, one of his disciples,
and the one who would betray him, said,
“Why was this oil not sold for three hundred days’ wages
and given to the poor?”
He said this not because he cared about the poor
but because he was a thief and held the money bag
and used to steal the contributions.
So Jesus said, “Leave her alone.
Let her keep this for the day of my burial.
You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.”

The large crowd of the Jews found out that he was there and came,
not only because of him, but also to see Lazarus,
whom he had raised from the dead.
And the chief priests plotted to kill Lazarus too,
because many of the Jews were turning away
and believing in Jesus because of him.

How Will You Infect The World Today?

As these strange days continue, my prayer has become, “please don’t let me miss a thing.” I know God is extremely present and extra tender right now and we believers have the tremendous gift of being light, carrying the flame of love, and reaching out in the midst of distancing. We are being called to be creative and intentional and bold. We need miracles and lots of them (a pandemic of miracles in fact) and so our faith must increase and our connection to the Body of Christ must also increase. The Holy Spirit cannot be contained, quarantined, isolated, or hidden, and we have a unique opportunity to release the Spirit that dwells within us NOW. Perhaps we have been sheltering the Holy Spirit in place and now that we are sheltered in place it’s time to release the Holy Spirit into the world. How? Ask God and in a still small voice, He will tell you. The best gift of this current situation is time itself to pay attention to the voice of God. 

Jesus’s words from today’s gospel came to me, “’I am the Son of God’. If I do not perform my Father’s works, do not believe me; but if I perform them, even if you do not believe me, believe the works, so that you may realize and understand that the Father is in me and I am in the Father.” The Father is recognizable in our works and there are plenty of good news stories out there right now of the Spirit moving people to do those works. Look for those stories and when you find one, share it with as many people as you can. These stories and the sharing of our faith will be the anchor of hope that pulls us through this. Testimony is one of the most powerful ways to increase people’s faith and that is what we need. So share what God is doing in your life or in other’s lives. It will be the kind of infectiousness that we need to counter the hopelessness that keeps creeping in day by day. 

Jesus has claimed his oneness with the Father in several gospels as of late, and it is this very claim that has challenged those that still can’t see. However, for those of us that do have the eyes of our hearts open, it is a message of great hope to know that we too are one with our Father. This resemblance might make others uncomfortable, or jealous, or question our realness, but all we need to do is let the one we resemble step in front and shield us from those flying stones of not knowing. When we sit in the presence of the Father, we begin to reflect Him, and in the absence of human contact, we are being called to a deeper and more creative way to make Him known. How will you infect the world today? It is well with my soul. 

Reading 1 JER 20:10-13

I hear the whisperings of many:
“Terror on every side!
Denounce! let us denounce him!”
All those who were my friends
are on the watch for any misstep of mine.
“Perhaps he will be trapped; then we can prevail,
and take our vengeance on him.”
But the LORD is with me, like a mighty champion:
my persecutors will stumble, they will not triumph.
In their failure they will be put to utter shame,
to lasting, unforgettable confusion.
O LORD of hosts, you who test the just,
who probe mind and heart,
Let me witness the vengeance you take on them,
for to you I have entrusted my cause.
Sing to the LORD,
praise the LORD,
For he has rescued the life of the poor
from the power of the wicked!

Responsorial Psalm 18:2-3A, 3BC-4, 5-6, 7

R.    (see 7)  In my distress I called upon the Lord, and he heard my voice.
I love you, O LORD, my strength,
O LORD, my rock, my fortress, my deliverer.
R.    In my distress I called upon the Lord, and he heard my voice.
My God, my rock of refuge,
my shield, the horn of my salvation, my stronghold!
Praised be the LORD, I exclaim,
and I am safe from my enemies.
R.    In my distress I called upon the Lord, and he heard my voice.
The breakers of death surged round about me,
the destroying floods overwhelmed me;
The cords of the nether world enmeshed me,
the snares of death overtook me.
R.    In my distress I called upon the Lord, and he heard my voice.
In my distress I called upon the LORD
and cried out to my God;
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him reached his ears.
R.    In my distress I called upon the Lord, and he heard my voice.

Verse Before The Gospel JN 6:63C, 68C

Your words, Lord, are Spirit and life;
you have the words of everlasting life.

Gospel JN 10:31-42

The Jews picked up rocks to stone Jesus.
Jesus answered them, “I have shown you many good works from my Father.
For which of these are you trying to stone me?”
The Jews answered him,
“We are not stoning you for a good work but for blasphemy.
You, a man, are making yourself God.”
Jesus answered them,
“Is it not written in your law, ‘I said, ‘You are gods”‘?
If it calls them gods to whom the word of God came,
and Scripture cannot be set aside,
can you say that the one
whom the Father has consecrated and sent into the world
blasphemes because I said, ‘I am the Son of God’?
If I do not perform my Father’s works, do not believe me;
but if I perform them, even if you do not believe me,
believe the works, so that you may realize and understand
that the Father is in me and I am in the Father.”
Then they tried again to arrest him;
but he escaped from their power.

He went back across the Jordan
to the place where John first baptized, and there he remained.
Many came to him and said,
“John performed no sign,
but everything John said about this man was true.”
And many there began to believe in him.