Forget About It

There are so many beautiful lessons that I’ve learned from my Memory Care friends, but I think the most beautiful, the most pure, the most holy, the most lovely lesson they have taught me is the main thing of today’s gospel. They have forgotten any and every debt owed them. They live completely without offense, have no recollection of sins committed against them, and they do not hold any grudge. Working in the presence of this kind of purity really begins to penetrate those very places in my own soul. Beginning with them, I take zero offense when they say and do things that are difficult or challenging. Their pureness of heart removes the question mark of whether or not they are trying to offend me. They are simply doing the best they can and I am completely able to recognize that, forgive them for they know not what they do, and FORGET about it. I practice practice practice this daily and things just don’t offend me as much as they used to. In a world where taking offense has become one of our civil duties and responsibilities, I get to step out of that ugliness and into a world where we do just live in harmony. I know not everyone views a memory care unit this way and I do not ever want to diminish or make light of the challenges that come with having a family member in memory care (my 98-year-old Grandmother is in advanced stages of dementia), but I do find amazing beauty in loving them as they are, and knowing that even if their mind is compromised, their soul still sings, still loves, still needs to be loved, and still has God’s kiss imprinted on it for all time. 

So about today’s gospel…”Moved with compassion the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan.” He released him and took away the debt, meaning it no longer existed, it was forgotten! This is the model Jesus gives us for how we are to forgive one another. Our culture preaches forgiveness with words like, “Forgive to set your self free, not the other person,” or “Forgive, but never forget.” Friends, I want God to forgive me so that I can be free, and I really really really want God to forget my sins. Guess what? That means that I must forgive people to set THEM free, and I must FORGET what they did. Ugh!! How difficult is this to do, BUT how noble, pure, excellent, and true is this to do? My freedom will indeed come when I have set them free by forgetting. I know it goes against what our culture has ingrained in us, but today’s gospel says, “I say to you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” The number seven means perfect, and seventy-seven would mean perfectly perfect, meaning 100% and all of the time. Remembering is not a thing in this kind of forgiveness. I know you’re all mad at me right now, and believe me I get it, we think that remembering will prevent us from getting burned again in the future, or that we need to have it as a big “healthy” boundary around us, and I tell you the grace that comes from forgiving the way God forgives far outweighs the false notion that remembering can and will protect us. Grace is what we need for freedom, for not getting burned again, for healing from trauma and woundedness, for setting those necessary boundaries, for not taking offense, for setting others free, for loving without borders. When we forgive and forget, grace comes in a double portion. I’m just going to say that one more time…when we forgive and forget, grace comes in a double portion. 

This is tough stuff, but it’s so important, friends. I pray that today’s reflection is received in love and light, because one thing I know is that Jesus really really really wants us to get this piece so we can get His peace. What would a world be like if we forgot all our offenses? Well in memory care today, we are going to sing and dance, and simply be who God created us to be. Now that is seventy-seven times seven portions of lovely! It is well with my soul. 

Reading 1 DN 3:25, 34-43

Azariah stood up in the fire and prayed aloud:

"For your name's sake, O Lord, do not deliver us up forever,
or make void your covenant.
Do not take away your mercy from us,
for the sake of Abraham, your beloved,
Isaac your servant, and Israel your holy one,
To whom you promised to multiply their offspring
like the stars of heaven,
or the sand on the shore of the sea.
For we are reduced, O Lord, beyond any other nation,
brought low everywhere in the world this day
because of our sins.
We have in our day no prince, prophet, or leader,
no burnt offering, sacrifice, oblation, or incense,
no place to offer first fruits, to find favor with you.
But with contrite heart and humble spirit
let us be received;
As though it were burnt offerings of rams and bullocks,
or thousands of fat lambs,
So let our sacrifice be in your presence today
as we follow you unreservedly;
for those who trust in you cannot be put to shame.
And now we follow you with our whole heart,
we fear you and we pray to you.
Do not let us be put to shame,
but deal with us in your kindness and great mercy.
Deliver us by your wonders,
and bring glory to your name, O Lord."

Responsorial Psalm PS 25:4-5AB, 6 AND 7BC, 8-9

R. (6a)  Remember your mercies, O Lord.
Your ways, O LORD, make known to me;
teach me your paths,
Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my savior.
R. Remember your mercies, O Lord.
Remember that your compassion, O LORD,
and your kindness are from of old.
In your kindness remember me,
because of your goodness, O LORD.
R. Remember your mercies, O Lord.
Good and upright is the LORD;
thus he shows sinners the way.
He guides the humble to justice,
he teaches the humble his way.
R. Remember your mercies, O Lord.

Verse Before The Gospel JL 2:12-13

Even now, says the LORD,
return to me with your whole heart;
for I am gracious and merciful.

Gospel MT 18:21-35

Peter approached Jesus and asked him,
"Lord, if my brother sins against me,
how often must I forgive him?
As many as seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.
That is why the Kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king
who decided to settle accounts with his servants.
When he began the accounting,
a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount.
Since he had no way of paying it back,
his master ordered him to be sold,
along with his wife, his children, and all his property,
in payment of the debt.
At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said,
'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.'
Moved with compassion the master of that servant
let him go and forgave him the loan.
When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants
who owed him a much smaller amount.
He seized him and started to choke him, demanding,
'Pay back what you owe.'
Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him,
'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
But he refused.
Instead, he had him put in prison
until he paid back the debt.
Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened,
they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master
and reported the whole affair.
His master summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant!
I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to.
Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant,
as I had pity on you?'
Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers
until he should pay back the whole debt.
So will my heavenly Father do to you,
unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart."