Wednesday, October 4, 2017

For it is in pardoning that we are pardoned...

On the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi, I wanted to share some thoughts that have recently marinated in my soul specifically regarding peace, mercy, and forgiveness. Francis was recklessly committed to living the gospel and with the chaos and unrest of our world; I think we also need to be radically merciful. Here are my own thoughts, based on my own personal encounters with scripture and Jesus’ workings of mercy in my own life.

What a blessing it is that Jesus doesn’t speak about forgiveness the way we do. He doesn’t say, “I forgive you, but I’ll never forget what you did.” He says, “Father forgive them for they know NOT what they do,” and then he forgets. He doesn’t say, “I forgive you in my heart, but I never want to speak to you again.” He says, “I forgive you over and over again, face to face, and I still want to be your beloved. Let’s spend even more time together.” Forgiveness and mercy were at the core of Jesus’ ministry and these same virtues are what led to his execution. His execution then became the actual manifestation of these virtues. He suffered and died in the name of mercy and forgiveness and yet we still say things like, “I’m not forgiving you for you, but I’m forgiving you to set myself free.” Jesus didn’t hang on the cross to set himself free, he did it to set the sinner free – that is you and me – because he loves us. He also didn’t lay down his life for us to forgive, but remember, to forgive, but shun, or to forgive for our own freedom. He wants us to lay down our lives for one another, forgiving and forgetting over and over again (Matthew 18:21-22), because we love. Then and only then will we be free ourselves. Forgiveness is and should be 100% for the other because that is what Jesus did and continues to do for us. When we put another first, even and especially a sinner or someone that has hurt us, then we will be free. When we forgive to make ourselves feel better we only lengthen the chains that oppress us, we do not break them. We might feel freer, but the chains remain. This is not what our Father wants for us.

Unforgiveness feels like spiritual waterboarding; a torturing of the soul until it submits to the will of the torturer. We make each other beg for mercy and then we say things like, “I know I need to forgive you, but not yet. I’m not ready.” And the water slowly drips making it feel like we will never breathe again. At the well, Jesus said, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:13-14)

The kind of radical mercy, forgiveness, and selfless love that Jesus lived out in the gospels (with the lepers, the tax collectors, the prostitutes, the adulterous woman, the woman at the well, his executioners, etc. etc.) is quite impossible for us to live apart from God and the Holy Spirit. Jesus was sent by the Father to show us how to do it and they gave us the Holy Spirit to be our constant companion to help us do it. The Sunday gospels for the past several weeks have drummed the message of mercy and forgiveness into our souls with a fervor that cannot be ignored. If we want God to forget our sins, then we must absolutely forget the sins of our offenders (“Forgive us our trespasses AS we forgive those who trespass against us”). I know that I’ve heard people like Oprah and other self help gurus say that we should absolutely remember all the wrongs done to us so that we do not ever let them happen again, however, I’d like to suggest that forgetfulness of sin, ugliness, and the negative past is precisely the level of virtue that we should all pray to have and to have abundantly. I know this is a frightening prospect because we think that if we don’t hold onto the memory of the bad in our lives, we will be burned by it over and over again, but I believe with all my heart that the grace that comes from truly forgiving AND forgetting will give us all that we need to avoid repetition in the future. This is the kind of radical trust that faith, hope, and love fosters in our souls if we stay close to Christ, read and study his word, and practice mercy. We will be given all that we need. I know that we all feel somewhat entitled to and like it is our responsibility to remember things like betrayal, adultery, abuse, or any of the top 10 most unacceptable sins. Of course no one would blame us for remembering these things right. I get it and I have felt totally justified in holding onto these things done to me in my own life, but recently my heart has really softened and completely changed in this regard as I have remorsefully and fervently sought forgiveness only to be denied it over and over again. In this deficit and desperation, God has taught me the importance of forgiving and forgetting. We have all experienced being in a feud with someone and after several months forgotten what the feud was even about, so it is possible to forget if we pray and practice, practice and pray. Jesus wants to unite all of us through mercy and forgiveness, and Satan wants to divide us by slightly altering true virtues with conditions like “never forget” and “forgive everything except for…..”

I just got out of mass and this very theme jumped out at me loudly and clearly when the priest said, “Lord Jesus Christ, who said to your Apostles: Peace I leave you, my peace I give you. Look not on our sins but on the faith of your Church, and graciously grant her peace and unity in accordance with your will, who live and reign forever and ever. Amen.” The Church associates the peace of Christ with the notion of not looking at our sins, but on considering our faith. So as we pray for Jesus to look not on our sins, may we also emulate this act of radical mercy toward one another and then, my friends, the peace of Christ will be with us. Come together today. Do not delay. Forgive and forget and receive unlimited grace to have what you need when you need it. St. Francis of Assisi, pray for us. Peace and Goodness. Pace e Bene!!!












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