The Scorpion Story | October 8, 2015

October 8, 2015

Today’s gospel gives me an opportunity to share my biggest fear with you. Isn’t that exciting? “What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish? Or hand him a SCORPION when he asks for an egg?” I would just like to acknowledge that Jesus himself uses the scorpion as a representation of evil. Now enjoy…

When I became a Youth Minister, certain signature “Jen Stories” quickly became classics and “The Scorpion Story” is an all-time youth group favorite. It’s a tale of the loss of innocence, a traumatic life-changing event, a wage of war, a triumph, and perhaps an opportunity for one to develop their tremendous skills in embellishment.

When I was 8 or 9 years old, my best friend, David, came over to play. I had left my shoes outside from the day before so I brought them in the house to put them on. As I slipped my right foot in I heard a crunch like a dead fall leaf or something. I proceeded to take the shoe off to get the crunchy thing out and a scorpion jumped out of my shoe and onto my jeans and quickly began walking up my leg with its tail fully loaded like a Captain Hook ready to sting….ready to kill!!!!

So I did what any reasonable person would do when staring death in the tiny little insect face, I ran like a banshee around my house screeching like I was Tasmanian and flailing my arms frantically as if a swarm of bees was attacking. I was like a cartoon. I had no idea if the scorpion was still on me or not, I just kept running, screaming, flailing. My frenzy of fear was contagious because soon my friend, David, joined in the screaming that had now turned into full on hyperventilated crying to the highest, snottiest, ugliest face degree. I’m sure he was crying out of shear terror because I was, well, INSANE! After I did approximately six laps around my house, I picked up the phone to call my dad at work. When he answered, no words actually came out of my mouth but all the screaming, crying, and hyperventilating sure did which is exactly what a dad wants to hear from his daughter home alone on the other end of the line, right? The only logical conclusion he could draw from the information coming in was that his little girl was being brutally murdered and right before he was about to hang up and call 911, he heard the word     S  C  O  R  P  I  O  N  !  !  !   come out of the banshee’s mouth.  Alright, now we could get somewhere. I was on a ledge of fear, and horror, and mental illness and my dad was the patient bystander slowly talking me back to my senses. I did manage to calm down as he was counseling me through the phone and my dad was able to piece the story together through my nonsensical attempt at an explanation. I think I may have even apologized that we would now have to move out of our house, as I would no longer be able to live in a place that was possessed by a scorpion. I’m not sure if this has struck you yet, but I tend to be a little dramatic.

Anyway, his advice was to find the scorpion and kill it, which was the exact opposite of what I planned to do so I put David on the phone to deal with it. Since I was not going anywhere near the damn scorpion, we came up with a genius plan. We duct taped three brooms together and we stood in the kitchen, approximately 15’ away from the couch where the scorpion had crawled behind. We then proceeded to try to whack the couch with the broom weapon until the scorpion wandered out into our death trap. Well by whack #5 we were exhausted and of course aware that our genius plan was mediocre at best. Plan B, however, seemed like it was our best option. My parents had three full cans of Raid under the sink. So David and I emptied all three full cans of Raid in the general direction of the evil scorpion and we left the house for the day. That should do it, right? Hours later, we returned to the house which now smelled like poison and the said poison had left a lovely poisonous film all over the furniture, the walls, well…everything. Crap.

We were pretty convinced that the three cans of Raid did indeed off the scorpion and our suspicions were confirmed when we looked into Donny Osmond, my parakeet’s cage to find him lying on the floor barely holding on to life!!! We jumped into our 9-year-old version of first responder mode and took the poor bird outside for some fresh air. I made a feeble attempt to revive Donny Osmond by breathing into his green little face and massaging his limp little body. There was praying and there was crying but Donny Osmond slowly came back to life. A little drunk, a little woozy, but like Lazarus, he came out and lived for years to come! Scorpions don’t just try to kill humans, they also target sweet innocent little birdies too.

Our next task was to hopefully find a DEAD scorpion. So we did the next logical thing and turned all the furniture in the scorpion room upside down. If we did not find a dead scorpion, I was moving, end of story. My hobo stick with red bandana on the end was packed and ready to go (I wish this part was an exaggeration, but it’s actually not). Well, we never found the killer and so we waited outside on the doorstep until my parents got home from work. For the next three days, I lived in terror. I could only occupy the rooms where the scorpion was not, I wore my thickest/safest shoes at all times, and I covered myself head to toe in clothing. I checked every inch of my bed before getting in. Let’s just say, it was a living hell.

My dad called me into the scorpion room on the third night and showed me the carcass of a very dead scorpion and while the site of it made me panic, the fact that it was dead lifted a burden off my whole being and I felt like I could breathe again. The security that my father had assured me of ended my nightmare and I could finally begin to live again.

Fear is a powerful thing isn’t it? It can cripple, paralyze, corrode, and infect. Fear takes small little tiny things (like scorpions) and blows them up into insurmountable issues that debilitate our good judgment and turn our game faces into cry faces. Fright traumatizes our sense of security especially when it comes unexpectedly. One ambush and it’s all over. Trauma induces our defense mechanisms that help us run from danger. One traumatic incident can stay with you for a very long time.  When we live in fear, we live running, screeching, flailing away the things that we are afraid of and it gets to be exhausting. And how many times are we running from a small tiny thing that can literally be eliminated with one small stomp, yet we see its shadow casted on the wall, projected by our fear and the tiny insignificant thing grows into a larger than life image of what it actually is?

Fear mode is the path of bad decisions, desperate measures, and silly notions of the truth. Fear messes with our good sense and convinces us that God does NOT have our back. We become self absorbed and we no longer look out at others. We think only of ourselves and we will sell our souls for just a little security, even if it is false security.

Jesus has so much more to offer than a life of fear. It’s like a spiritual trust fall and he never misses.  He gives us rest from the running, screeching, and flailing. His surprises are not terrifying but gratifying. The problem is that our eyes are clouded by the fear bubbles we live in. The only way around that is with grace. Grace poured over a scary situation turns it into a close encounter of the peaceful kind.  The thing is that we are constantly swimming in the grace and it is being poured on us lavishly by the Holy Spirit, we just don’t see it. We might be wearing one of those super impermeable wet suits (of fear) and we just don’t know that grace is all over us.

How do we ditch the wet suit and start receiving grace extravagantly? Prayer, prayer, and more prayer. Start with saying, “I want to pray”, then move on to “help me to pray”, then “teach me to pray”, and keep going until the grace flows. When fear and grace are battling, it’s important that we know how to recognize grace because fear tends to be an attention hog. Grace is delicate and lovely and often gets lost in the shadow of fear’s big ugly head. Prayer keeps our grace radar finely tuned and calibrated. Prayer gives us the eyes to see the grace, the courage to face the fear, and the security of a relationship with Christ. Max Lucado puts it best in his book aptly named, Fearless: “Feed your fears, and your faith will starve. Feed your faith, and your fears will.”  The only running Jesus wants us to do is right into his arms.

Today’s gospel can be summed up in three little letters: “ing”. We need to be persistent in prayer, in other words we need to keep pray-ING, keep knock-ING, keep seek-ING, keep ask-ING. These spiritual practices must be practiced daily, regularly, and consistently. They are not one-time events or situational habits. We need to keep do-ING them and in our persistence, God will give in. When we have a well-developed relationship with God, as a result of our consistent pray-ING, then our eyes will be opened to all the good, lovely, wonderful, and abundant gifts that He lavishly gives us every day. So let this story of an evil scorpion be a reminder to be persistent in our “ING’s” so that we can rejoice in our belovedness, because everyone knows that a loving Father would never hand their child a scorpion when they ask for an egg. That’s just rude.

Reading 1 MAL 3:13-20B

You have defied me in word, says the LORD,
yet you ask, “What have we spoken against you?”
You have said, “It is vain to serve God,
and what do we profit by keeping his command,
And going about in penitential dress
in awe of the LORD of hosts?
Rather must we call the proud blessed;
for indeed evildoers prosper,
and even tempt God with impunity.”
Then they who fear the LORD spoke with one another,
and the LORD listened attentively;
And a record book was written before him
of those who fear the LORD and trust in his name.
And they shall be mine, says the LORD of hosts,
my own special possession, on the day I take action.
And I will have compassion on them,
as a man has compassion on his son who serves him.
Then you will again see the distinction
between the just and the wicked;
Between the one who serves God,
and the one who does not serve him.
For lo, the day is coming, blazing like an oven,
when all the proud and all evildoers will be stubble,
And the day that is coming will set them on fire,
leaving them neither root nor branch,
says the LORD of hosts.
But for you who fear my name, there will arise
the sun of justice with its healing rays.

Responsorial Psalm PS 1:1-2, 3, 4 AND 6

R. (Ps 40:5a) Blessed are they who hope in the Lord.
Blessed the man who follows not
the counsel of the wicked
Nor walks in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the company of the insolent,
But delights in the law of the LORD
and meditates on his law day and night.
R. Blessed are they who hope in the Lord.
He is like a tree
planted near running water,
That yields its fruit in due season,
and whose leaves never fade.
Whatever he does, prospers.
R. Blessed are they who hope in the Lord.
Not so the wicked, not so;
they are like chaff which the wind drives away.
For the LORD watches over the way of the just,
but the way of the wicked vanishes.
R. Blessed are they who hope in the Lord.

Alleluia SEE ACTS 16:14B

R. Alleluia, alleluia.
Open our hearts, O Lord,
to listen to the words of your Son.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel LK 11:5-13

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Suppose one of you has a friend
to whom he goes at midnight and says,
‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread,
for a friend of mine has arrived at my house from a journey
and I have nothing to offer him,’
and he says in reply from within,
‘Do not bother me; the door has already been locked
and my children and I are already in bed.
I cannot get up to give you anything.’
I tell you, if he does not get up to give him the loaves
because of their friendship,
he will get up to give him whatever he needs
because of his persistence.

“And I tell you, ask and you will receive;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks, receives;
and the one who seeks, finds;
and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
What father among you would hand his son a snake
when he asks for a fish?
Or hand him a scorpion when he asks for an egg?
If you then, who are wicked,
know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit
to those who ask him?”